If you're at a lose end on Sunday and want to go out an 'ave it hard, then come to the Peanut Butter Jelly Time warehouse party in Dalston.
The WASTE crew will be there in full force covering the event...as well as dancing with studio objects on our heads and DJing. Booya.
It's guestlist only so you need to email email@example.com with your names...or if you have fachébook go HERE and confirm your attendance...you'll then be sent the location of the party.
This warehouse is pretty special, not your average skanky Hackney crack den. It's going to be A M A Z I N G, so come.
You're gagging to spend a night in the cells, so you have a bit to drink and get into your ford sierra. You drive around at night with no lights on, and you have your hazards on to attract the attention of the po-po. Finally, you get stopped, and PC Crapshanks tells you to get out of the car. He hands you a breathaliser and asks you to blow hard (giggle). Suddenly, you realise that you've been driving around for a while, and that the alcohol may have worn off. What do you do?
Well, you've got a couple of options. Firstly, you can just kick PC Crapshanks in the balls, but that's a bit boring. Alternatively, you could tell him that he's got a shit surname, but again, it's just a bit too obvious. My top suggestion in this situation has kindly been illustrated by this fine specimen of a man. Observe and learn.