Friday, 1 May 2009

How to fail a breathaliser test...

You're gagging to spend a night in the cells, so you have a bit to drink and get into your ford sierra. You drive around at night with no lights on, and you have your hazards on to attract the attention of the po-po. Finally, you get stopped, and PC Crapshanks tells you to get out of the car. He hands you a breathaliser and asks you to blow hard (giggle). Suddenly, you realise that you've been driving around for a while, and that the alcohol may have worn off. What do you do?

Well, you've got a couple of options. Firstly, you can just kick PC Crapshanks in the balls, but that's a bit boring. Alternatively, you could tell him that he's got a shit surname, but again, it's just a bit too obvious. My top suggestion in this situation has kindly been illustrated by this fine specimen of a man. Observe and learn.

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