Tuesday, 25 November 2008

Heavy Flow.

I like to think that I'm in touch with my feminine side - I occasionally wear eyeliner and I have a soft-spot for lattes and chocolate. I do drink beer and chuckle when people fart, but I still feel that I have a higher than average awareness level of female-related concerns.

I think women should feel free to talk about their periods; the more men are aware of menstrual cycle, the better. If anything, it would avoid the kind of conversations that leave men baffled and women wanting to hit someone over the head with a heavy, blunt object.

Having said this, there are limits, and a recent chat I had with Nina on google really fucking pushed the boundaries. I'm sorry to have to reveal to everyone that you're on your period, Natalia, but I think the world deserves to know not only what goes on inside Nina's head, but also what I have to go through almost every day. Not that Nina bleeds out of her pum 365 days a year, but... 

Oh God. I think I'm turning into her...

me: Awite 
Nina: awite 
me: Natalia can't make it out - she kindly told me that she's just got her period 
Nina: ahhh wow, we're so almost in sink
i'm like a week later than her 
me: Apparently friends get in sink 
Nina: double jam time for you
   yes they do 
me: That's horrible 
Nina: something to do with the moon
its good, so you'll have a week of jam from her and then a week of jam from me
  double jam
   with extra bits 
me: I wish I had foreskin so I could talk to you about nob cheese 
Nina: haha yeah but that would just mean that you were unhygenic
we can't help being jammy
   it's natural 
me: Christ.
   What's wrong with you? 
Nina: whereas nob cheese just means you're dutty 
me: Oh God. 
Nina: murat, it's the natural menstrual cycle...it's a beautiful thing 
me: Sure - you can spread it on toast too. 
Nina: did i tell you that i've had to go up to super plus tampons now because i've got such a heavy flow? 
me: Economical 
Nina: literally, it's like i'm hemorrhaging 
me: For fuck's sake 
Nina: hahaha, i wish i could see your face 
me: Disgraceful
   I copying this conversation and emailing it to everyone 
Nina: i'll make you a pot one day
yup, OK 
me: Seriously
   You wouldn't care? 
Nina: no, i say it in front of everyone anyway
   i only tell you the most because it freaks you out so much 
me: If you made a pot I would smear shit on your front door 
Nina: on my front door? is that it 
me: And your sewing machine. 
Nina: hahahah
imagine if i did that? my mum actually does make jam sometimes, it looks exactly the same...i dont think you'd be able to tell the difference   
it might be a bit runnier though 
me: Can we change subject please? 
Nina: you started it

Too much, no?

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